Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This isn't going to be a recipe post. Sorry. But I have something on my mind that I thought I'd share with you. Some friends are going through the process of adopting and they have been on my heart for a few days. I don't know all the details of how it all works but after filling out enough paperwork to make your head spin and waiting for umpteen people to do their job their packet has finally arrived in Thaiwan. One would think, oh, it won't be long now. But, no. It will be another 18-24 months. They started this a year ago.

It used to be that the only time anyone even considered adoption was after many years of infertility problems. In the past five or six years I have had close friends who chose adoption not because they could not give birth but because God had called them to increase their family in that way. In fact many of them already had given birth to one or more kids.

Ron and I have given birth three times. (Well, I did all the work.) It was not easy. I went through four months of horrible all day sickness, pulled muscles, gestational diabetes, late term deliveries, large babies, the whole nine yards. It was hard. But I am convinced there is nothing in this world harder than going through the ups and downs of adoption. I did not have to fill out hardly any paper work, other than insurance and medical forms. No stranger came to my house to go over it with a fine tooth comb and ask us extremely detailed and very personal questions about our lives, past present, and future, all the while being terrified I might say the wrong thing or forget to clean a toilet. I didn't have to ask several of my friends to write a letter and say nice things about me and my parenting skills. I didn't have to wait for months for someone to stop sitting on their hands and get me a baby! I didn't have to fly to Russia like one family did, meet my child and then be told, "Go home and come back in two months to get him." I didn't have to be on pins and needles for 14 days after my child was born knowing if his birth mom changed her mind I would have to give him back. I didn't have to fly to a foreign country where they require a three to four week stay, bribe many officials and at any moment could change their adoption policies which could ruin everything. I don't think anything could be so painful, but oh so worth it. I am convinced that God created me to give birth, but he has called my friends to adopt. The adoption papers read that a child belongs to his adoptive parents "as if he were born to them." Isn't that so true?

So, pray for my friends, please. Pray that things move faster than they expected in Taiwan. Pray for my friends in Florida who are starting the process to adopt again from Russia who now has the law that you have to come three times before you can take your child home. Pray for my friends who have open adoptions as they go through the heartbreaks of watching these young women who gave birth to their children continue in the harmful life cycle they are in. Pray that those of us who surround them can support them, cry with them, cheer with them, and partner with them as they follow God's will in their lives.

Thank you for letting me share this. If you are one of my friends I mentioned above, thank you for adopting.


The Adkins Family said...

Meriam, thank you so much for your encouragement. Even though my pregnancy with Connor was so hard (you remember, you witnessed it!), this process is even worse! If I could have Claire in my arms in only nine months, I'd throw up every day, all day in a heartbeat! I have no idea why we've been called to do this, but I am so glad! This has been the most spiritual journey of my life, and it has completely changed me, and I desperately needed the change! I feel so blessed to be able to experience all of this and become a mother in two completely different ways! Thanks for praying for us! You are a wonderful friend and we love you!

Dan C said...

Well put, Meriam. I also admire those folks. We have a few adoptive families at SHCC, both foreign, and local agencies. I also admire the families who take on foster children. I'm not sure I could do any of it. Thank you all for being parents. For now I'll just stay a happy Uncle.


Anonymous said...

wonderful thoughts...it's amazing to see the adoptive spirit that God has planted in this area.